Saturday, September 4, 2010

Every Ending has a Beginning

Because I'm working on Gunmetal Gray (finally!) and I haven't posted an excerpt of it yet. I thought I should show you guys (or whoever ends up reading this) some of my stuff. This is an excerpt of the prologue, which is from Lee's brother Cam's POV.

This is also a first draft, so I'm not all that worried about minor details as of right now.

Gunmetal Gray Excerpt: The Prologue

There’s a man yelling at me in a language I don’t understand. The streets are empty; the sun’s just about to rise, the sky looks like it’s holding its breath before color explodes from the horizon. And the man is screaming. John’s trying to talk to him, trying to calm him down enough to speak. Tex’s voice murmurs like the sand, quiet: “What’s he saying?” We wait, and the sky’s not the only thing holding its breath. Sometimes, you don’t need to be a language specialist to figure out what someone’s saying – there’s a crazed look to the man’s eyes. They’ve seen too much death, too much destruction; the land is reflected in his irises. They’re black, but gray and brown, too. I’ve never seen eyes like his.
He looks like he’s seen a ghost.

“I dunno.”

“John, what the hell's he saying?” We aren’t alone anymore – people are beginning to notice us. They don’t speak, but I see children behind their mothers’ silhouettes. If we aren’t careful, soon we’ll have a situation. We might already have one.

“He’s talkin’ Turkish! I don’t speak Turkish! I speak fucking Farsi – not Turkish!” The man’s begging for something, looking between John and Tex and me.

“Ben, Doc, you boys come with me.” Preacher’s watching the people watching us. Everyone’s waiting for something to happen – our rifles are heavier, the wind gentler. The man’s not screaming anymore, but he’s babbling. Talking to hear himself talk. To convince himself that everything’s gonna be alright, that his world’s not going to disintegrate around him.

“Where y’all going?” Tex is closer to John now. The man’s eyes are buggin’ out his head.

“We gotta figure out what the hell he’s so worried about!” calls Preacher, and he isn’t afraid of the dark. Preacher isn’t afraid of anything, ‘cause he’s got the Lord with him. He baptized Tex a few days ago. Did it in a kiddie pool and ended up in the pool with Tex when it was done. Preacher’s been here before. He’s gone home and come back, and he isn’t afraid.


  1. It's good. I'm interested even though it's not the type of book I'd normally read. Personally I'm more intrigued in your other idea, When the Storm Birds Fly. Are you going to post any more on this story?
    Do you always write in first person or just with this book?
    Mumford and Sons are brilliant. I love their whole album.

  2. Honestly, I don't have a lot to post on When the Storm Birds Fly yet. It was a pet project that I haven't worked on in a month or so, and none of the writing that I have for it is anywhere near good enough (even as a first draft) to post. I'm still working on it, and I'll probably post some of it, but I don't know when.

    And no. I almost never write in first person. Normally, I write in third person, past tense. Sometimes I write in third person, present, though. The fact that I wrote this in first person, present, was really strange, but I like how it worked with this piece.

  3. Yeah it's good. Funny enough I usually hate first person and if I pick up a book and it's in first person I'll put it straight back down. But yesterday I bought The Hunger Games by Suzanne Collins, after seeing a thread about the violence in books on Nathans blog and was distressed when I saw it was first person. I'm almost finished it now and actually quite like it.

  4. hi Hannah, im interested in promoting blogs like yours on my website. I have a book review blog and I like to display relevant widgets on my home page. If you make a widget on WidgetBox I'll happily add it to my site. Please let me know what you think. Thanks!

  5. I love the first paragraph about the eyes. You could just say that the guy has brown eyes because that's all the average person notice, but instead you say brown and gray and black, and the narrator has never seen eyes like them, and he looks like he's seen a ghost and that's just SO much better than just saying that he has brown eyes. Amazing.